Surf Girl

‘Get under the wave!’

‘Jump on the board, now!’

These words are buzzing into my head. I hate him when he commands. I also hate that Alex is always right, and that I can do nothing about it.

The waves are growing bigger and bigger. I get to the point where adrenaline transforms into fear, and even though I am still excited about this, I wonder what the hell am I doing out here. Is this fun or just the unconscious will to please him, be a surf girl? 

The last set of waves has drained my last drop of energy. I find myself floating on the board, further than the group, dreaming to be on the shore again, no possible sharks or whatever freaky sea creatures swimming around me with curiosity or hunger. I can only hear the waves and my heavy breathing. I think of the office word when I need to calm down: ‘ZEN’. 

‘Come over here, Luca!’ he screams. I start paddling towards I don’t know what. Is it toward a beautiful small wave that’s gonna carry me endlessly to the shore? Or am I running of a disastrous tsunami, saving myself from what Alex is able to spot out and me not yet?

‘I’m sending you with this one’ he said. What am I, a letter? 

‘And you do what I say. Paddle now!’ I look back just for a second to see it growing and growing, feel my heart getting smaller and trying to get out of my chest. My whole holiday runs in front of my eyes like a movie on fast forward. Moroccan tajin, healthy street cats and dogs, hot mint tea in kitschy glasses with golden encryptions, white water, comrades and laughs.  

‘Stand up now!’ I pop up instantly like he had the remote control.The wave has hit my board strongly.The guys behind me scream out load: ‘Go on, Luca!’ He still commands something, but I can’t hear no more. I see a huge drop in front of me, the tip of the board facing down. 

Then there is nothing than perfect silence and an endless glide.

I jump off the board at shore. Suzanne is there with the beginners. Oh, she didn’t see me! I release myself from the leash and run to hug her.

Maybe all surfers-to-be hug their surf instructor after their first 6-foot wave, because she replies back with a natural hug, patting my shoulder. ‘Well done, surf girl!’, she says.

I let myself drop in the sand, my face up to the sky. This is happiness, right?